The Domination Filks
We are
the newsgroup
Tune: I am the Walrus, The Beatles
I am he as you are he as you are me and we
are all together
See how we type whole troughs full of tripe, see what we write
I'm trying
Sitting on a swivel waiting for the light to come
Another sodding sunrise, twenty pints of coffee
Man you've been a naughty boy
You let your nails grow long
I am the oldfart, you are the newbie, we are the newsgroup
Goo goo goo joob
Hoards of first year students, sitting pretty, little ducks all in a row
See how they fry in flames passing by
They're dying, -- they're dying , they're dying
Acid witty poison, pattered out by bitter keys
Screaming like a fishwife, pornographic filking
Boy you've been a naughty girl
You left your sig too long
I am the oldfart, you are the newbie, we are the newsgroup
Goo goo goo joob
Sitting in a grubby bedroom waiting for response
If response don't come you get a thrill from
Posting into every thread
I am the oldfart, you are the newbie, we are the newsgroup
Goo goo goo joob
Geeking sneaking choking smokers don't you think the joker laughs at
you? Ha ha ha!
See how they write, like ghosts through the night see what they cried
They're sighing
Threads mutate, run rampant, taking over every post
Always bloody casting, brain-dead Spam and trolling
Man you should have seen them filking Edgar Allen Poe
I am the oldfart, you are the newbie, we are the newsgroup
Goo goo goo joob Goo goo goo goo joob Goo goo gooooooooo joob
Wouldn't it be loverly
Tune:
Same title, from My Fair Lady
Sound Of Silence Revisited
Tune: Sound Of Silence, Simon & Garfunkel
Hello usenet, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of keystrokes.
In restless dreams I search for more
Through endless posts of wibble pure,
I comb the noise that seems unending,
To find the signal someone's sending
Till my eyes are raw and my head's beating like a drum
But still I come
Back to the sound of keystrokes.
And in the flick'ring light I saw
Ten million people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing thoughts that voices daren't express
But they confess
With just the sound of keystrokes.
"Fools" thought I, "You do not know
Deja like a cancer grows.
Your words may yet come back to haunt you,
Ten years from now they may still taunt you"
But my thoughts just spiraled into space,
And echoed
Off the face of keystrokes
And as the people typed away
Throughout the night and through the day.
I knew that somehow I was losing,
All the posts I should be choosing.
And my mind said, "The words of the prophets
Now are buried deep in pointless threads
They can't be said."
Just clattered in the sounds of keystrokes.
IRC
Tune: Let it be, The Beatles
When I find myself in times of trouble
Need someone to talk to me
I turn on my computer, IRC
And in the midnight darkness
I can find some chat or company
Speaking to the world on IRC
IRC, IRC, IRC, IRC
There's always someone up on IRC.
And many broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There's comfort to be found on IRC.
For though they may be lonely there is
Still a chance for them to see,
A friend to lend an ear on IRC.
IRC, IRC, IRC, IRC,
It's sad but it's an answer, IRC.
And when I'm feeling lousy,
And I cannot sleep at half past three,
It's always daytime somewhere, IRC.
I can talk of life, or cats, or music,
Or maybe geek some kids TV,
I can wibble till the dawn on IRC.
IRC, IRC, IRC, IRC,
For this sad git, it's a refuge, IRC.
IRC, IRC, IRC, IRC,
I'll see you there this evening, IRC.
There Are Worse
Things I Could Do
Tune: Same name, from 'Grease'
There are worse things I could do,
Than to post with little clue,
Even though all the old farts,
May flame and reach out for their LARTS,
They are entitled to their view,
But there are worse things I could do
I could spam without a care,
Get rich quick schemes everywhere,
Just refuse to read the FAQ,
Put up everybody's back,
With a blatant troll or two,
That's a thing I'd never do
I could have a sig like War and Peace,
Quote whole posts without surcease,
Write three hundred posts a day,
Throw your bandwidth all away,
On an AOL 'me too'
I could flame someone like me,
Out of spite or pedantry,
I don't swear and I don't SHOUT,
I don't put ascii art about,
My faults are relatively few,
But admitting that I'm new,
May be the worst thing I could do
Taking Sides
It's not set to any known tune, so
feel free to make up your own.
You know it's easy to make judgements from the outside looking in
What he did to hurt her, or what she said to him
But someone somewhere wrote a cliché, subject: stones, and sin
And nobody is sinless, without stain
If somebody is hurting, do we need to cut them more?
Does it matter how they got there when they're lying on the floor?
Recrimination is for courtrooms, it is not what friends are for
Offer love, or offer silence, never blame
Now I am not religious, as anyone must know
But some truths are universal, just our instincts tell us so
"Judge not lest ye be judged," and "But for luck there I might go"
Are thoughts that it's worth keeping firm in mind
If a friend needs our compassion, must they first apologise,
Before we offer them a shoulder, or we help to dry their eyes?
And even if they have been foolish, are we permanently wise?
Do we need to be so cruel to be kind?
Bye Bye Mail
Tune "Bye Bye Love" by The Everly Brothers
CHORUS
Bye bye mail
Bye bye MP3s
Hello misery
I think I'm gonna cry
Bye bye mail
Bye bye jpegs too
What am I gonna do?
I feel like I could die
Bye bye e-mail, goodbye
There goes the network
The server failed
The BOFHs are screaming
Want me impaled
It said "Love Letter"
Of course I read
It would be better
If I was dead
CHORUS
I'm through with romance
I'm through with love
I caught a virus
Oh Gods above
And the main reason
Why I'm so blue?
That blasted e-mail
Was sent to YOU
Intercontinental
This song is available on mp3, Tune by Stewart Tolhurst, Vocal Chris Naden.
Click here to
download
Angie
Baby
Tune Angie Baby by Helen Reddy
You live your life through a PC screen
In a world of IRC
And the name you choose hides the real you
Under who you want to be
You've found a place you can be cool
No-one takes you for a fool
You're at home in your PC
Angie baby
Lovers appear in your room each night
And they sweep you off your feet
But they need not know who you really are
It's all distant and discreet
Angie girl do you feel fine?
Turning heads like vintage wine
You're not alone no more
Angie baby
Angie baby
You're a special lady
Living in a world of fantasy
Well maybe
In the channel tonight there's a different guy
With strange thoughts in his head
Cos he's seen the pics on Angie's site
And he's read the things she said
"Angie girl are you alright,
Will you talk with me tonight?
I'm sure that we could have a good time
Angie baby"
Angie baby
You're a special lady
Living in a world of fantasy
Well maybe
Now they're all alone in a query screen
And she can't choose what to do
Should she string him along with a pretty lie
Does she even know what's true?
Should she let him in her soul
Trusting him to keep her whole?
Can she loosen her control?
Dare she drop her role?
Angie baby
Angie baby
The topic reads that Angie's left
That she's walked out of their world
And the channel mourns that they'll miss the chat
Of this scintillating girl
But though it's nice to play a part
Angie knows it breaks your heart
You've got to be yourself in the end
Angie baby
Angie baby
You're a special lady
Living in a world of fantasy
Well maybe
If We Won The Lotto
Tune If I Were A Rich Man
If we won the Lotto
Daidle, deedle daidle
Digguh digguh deedle daidle dum
I would tell the boss where he could go,
If we won ten million bucks
We wouldn't have to work then
Daidle deedle daidle
Digguh digguh deedle daidle dum
If we were obscenely stinking rich
And all it takes -- a little bit of luck
No more on Sundays haunting DIY stores,
We'd get a proper tradesman in
And someone every day just to cook and clean
We'd buy our food from Fortnums, in bloody great hampers
We'd give up the budget brands and tins
And the Ritz would keep a table for the Greens
I'd fill my shelves with hardback books bound in leather
My cellar with proper vintage wine
I'd buy the geek toys to which my sad soul aspires
And jewellery and clothes and pictures and cars
That I coveted would instantly be mine
I'd have every little thing my heart desires
If we won the Lotto, etc.
I'd buy my girl, my Megan, the things she cannot have now
Then maybe even she would smile
I'd educate her at all of the finest schools
I see her winning prizes and making lots of good friends
Happy and laughing all the while
Instead of sulking round and flouting rules.
The most important folk around will come to fawn on me
They will ask me to contribute to all their little schemes
"If you please, could you give us ... Pardon me, would you help us ..."
But instead I'd grant some dreamer's crazy dreams.
(chants)
And it won't make one bit of difference if they grovel beg or scrape
When you're rich you can help who you want.
If we were rich I'd have the time that I lack to talk with my family and play
Lazing in the sun by the garden wall
And we'd travel the whole world seeing all our dear friends
No matter just how far away
And this would be the sweetest thing of all ...
(sigh)
If we won the Lotto
Daidle deedle daidle
Digguh digguh deedle daidle dum
Every day I'd biddy biddy bum
If we won ten million bucks
Wouldn't have dream then
Daidle deedle daidle
Digguh deedle daidle dum.....
I've worked hard, I'm sure you would agree
I'd really love to give to charity
Someone wins, I simply cannot see
Why this week it can't be ME!
Vampire's Serenade
Tune Because the night, Patti Smith/Bruce Springsteen
Come to me baby, see what I am
Kiss my lips, try and understand
The endless hunger and the fire I breathe
Life is the banquet on which I feed
Come on now try and comprehend
The siren call of time without end
Bare your throat, come undercover
I won't hurt you now,
Won't hurt you now, won't hurt you now
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to blood
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us
Have you doubt, look in my eyes
Give me your mind, be mesmerised
Pain is the gateway that leads to bliss
Open to me, and feel the vampires kiss
Come on now try and understand
The way you'll feel under my command
Take my hand as the sun descends
Death can't touch you now,
Can't touch you now, can't touch you now
Because the night belongs to lovers ...
By day we'll sleep
While sun, the vicious circle,
Turns and burns
Without me you cannot live
I give you yearning, burning
Just believe in me, the need to bleed
So kiss me now, kiss me now, kiss me now
Because the night belongs to lovers ...
Because tonight we'll be two lovers
If you believe in the night then trust
Because tonight we'll be two lovers ...
Stage Fright
Tune Lucky Stars, by Dean Friedman
A discussion before a filk duet make their debut at a large Con.
HIM: What are you crazy? How in the hell can you say something like that?
HER: I was talking to myself. Start again, the key's B flat
HIM: By the way, I forgot to say, some guy from the concom called today.
HER: Have you been drinking?
HIM: I've had a couple.
HER: Is that why you're off-key?
HIM: I wasn't off-key.
HER: Maybe a little.
HIM: I was on pitch, dear.
HER: Must be my hearing.
HIM: Now don't be a bitch, dear.
HER: Well how are we supposed to play if you've been in the bar all day?
HER: And you can thank your lucky stars that you're not as drunk as the people listening are
HER: Shall we do another sound test?
HIM: I think we'll be fine.
HIM: It sounded good this afternoon, and there really isn't time
HIM: There's no time for anything before we have to go out and sing
HER: It'll be awful
HIM: Don't be a fool, love
HER: I will be awful
HIM: Just keep your cool, love.
HER: Really, I mean it. I just can't do it
HIM: Honey, now stop it, you will get through it.
HIM: I know this is hard to do but I'll be fine and so will you
HIM: And we can thank our lucky stars that we're not as drunk as the people listening are
HIM: Honey, I'm sorry, I'm a fool, I must apologise.
HIM: I should have known that you'd be stressed, and drinking wasn't wise.
HER: Listen, love', I understand, you're not nervous when there's a drink in your hand.
HIM: Are you OK now?
HER: Yes, I'm OK now.
HIM: You mean, you're not just being brave?.
HER: No, I'm not just being brave.
HIM: And are you ready?.
HER: It won't be long now. Yes, I feel ready.
HIM: Good, cos we're on now. And I may be a little tight, but I know we can filk all night.
BOTH: You can thank your lucky stars that we're not as drunk as the people listening are
BOTH: You can thank your lucky stars that we're not as drunk as the people listening are
BOTH: We can thank our lucky stars that we're not as drunk as the people listening are
England's
Green and Pleasant Land
Tune Jerusalem
And did those feet in ancient times walk on the Oval's outfieldgreen?
And was the umpire Dickie Bird at many three day matches seen?
And did the commentators munch
Upon fruit cake from sundry fans?
And were the West Indies routed here, in England's green and pleasant land
Bring me my father's bat and cap
Bring me my pads and white attire
Bring on the sun, stay thunderclaps
Sing rousing tunes to give me fire
I will not place my leg before
Nor shall a catch reach fielders' hands
Till I have made my century
For England's green and pleasant land
The 'Net
Tune: The Rose
Some say the 'net, it is a danger
That lets terrorism breed
Some say it's some place even stranger
Where psycho-vampires feed
Some say the 'net, it's an addiction
An endless, aching need
I say it's simply what you find there
And that is weird indeed
You could choose to chat in real time
With IRC or ICQ
And you could take a stroll round usenet
Maybe read a post or two
Or for the timid there is e-mail
To keep them up to date
And last, the web, where wit and wisdom
Co-exist with rage and hate
And if the night becomes too lonely
And your day has been too bad
But it seems the 'net is only
For the geeky and the sad
Just you turn on your computer
And see what you can get
From an hour or two of browsing
On the mys'try that's the 'net
A sad tale of doomed love on the 'net
Is she really going out with him?
Yeah, I don't know, there she is
Let's ask her
Betty? Is that Johnny's shirt you're wearing?
Aha!
Hey, it must be fun ircing with him
Yeah, is he coming online after work today?
A-a!
By the way, where'd you meet him?
I met him at the local con
He turned around and smiled at me
Do you get the picture?
Yes, we see
That's when I fell for my weedy little geek
My friends were always calling him names
(Names, names)
They said that he was
Scrawny and strange
(He was so strange)
They told me he was weird
But liked his straggly beard
That's why I fell for my weedy little geek
One day my boss went to my PC
Replaced my Red Hat with Windows ME
He told me that I must comply
And all I could do was cry
I didn't betray you, my weedy little geek
Well, he sort of :-)'d and *kiss*ed me goodbye
And the tears began to fall
And as he /quitted on that dreadful night
I begged him not to go
But whether he heard me I'll never know
Log on, log on, oh log on!
I felt so helpess, what could I do?
I've uninstalled AIM and lost ICQ
At school they all stop and stare
I can't hide my tears but I don't care
I'll never forget him my weedy little geek...
My weedy little geek, but now he's gone...
Leaning
on a Lampost
Tune of the same name, by George Formby
Sunnydale, night. The camera pans down from a neon lamp, to Spike,
illuminated by the glow. He looks broodily around for a moment, the
light shining dully on the leather he wears. Suddenly, he grins, and
pulls out a ukulele (as you do), and begins to sing, to the tune of
the George Formby classic:
I'm leaning on a lamp,
Maybe you know that I'm a vamp,
And you may think I'm hanging round to suck some gore.
But no, although that's true, it isn't what I plan to do
I'll tell you why I'm here and what I'm waiting for.
I'm leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street
In case a certain little slayer comes by,
Oh me, oh my, I hope that pretty slayer comes by.
I only want to try my skill, I'm sure she wants to make the kill
And anyhow I know that she'll try,
Oh me, oh my, I hope that little slayer comes by.
There's no other girl I would wait for,
This one I'd risk tempting fate for,
I won't have to ask what the stake's for.
She wants to dust my arse, it's not a chance to pass
Oh she's resolutely dutiful and super-strong and beautiful,
And anyone can understand why,
I'm leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street,
In case a certain little slayer comes by.
Murdering
Seagulls on the Beach
Tune Poisoning Pigeons in the Park, by Tom Lehrer
Autumn time, Autumn time,
Winds are blowing and life is fine.
I think the loveliest time of them all is the fall, I do.
Don't you? Course you do!
But there's one thing that makes Autumn right for me,
And makes seaside trips a delight for me...
As the waves kiss the shore there's one thing I adore
I love murdering seagulls on the beach.
And I kick through the sand, with my wife, hand in hand
As we murder the seagulls on the beach.
When they dive for our lunch, they won't see the sodium,
But they 'll soon feel the punch when the sarnies explode in 'em.
The sun's on the spray, it's a wonderful day,
When we're murdering seagulls on the beach.
This grim occupation has proved a sensation in,
This chapel-going nation I must say.
We've had an ovation for assassination,
They say mutilation like this is okay.
Oh, it's popular and it's quite lea-gal,
To blast the wings off of a seagull!
So if you think it's neat, then we'll arrange a meet,
To go murdering seagulls on the beach.
And maybe we'll burn up a shag or a tern,
While we murder the seagulls on the beach.
We'll do them all in from Llangrannog to Cardigan
Have a few beers then to Fishguard to start again.
The score will be going up with each seabird blowing up
Whatever the weather - we'll see raining feathers
And murder the seagulls on the beach.
Hitching
Round the Galaxy
Tune Rolling Down to Old Maui
It's a weary life full of stress and strife
Hitchhikers have to bear.
When we cadge a quick lift from a passing ship
We're off to God knows where.
Didn't want to go, and I told Ford so
But I can't go home you see
For the earth is no more, so I'm trav'ling far
Hitching around the galaxy.
Hitching round the galaxy, my friends
Hitching round the galaxy
To make things worse there is Vogon verse
Hitching round the galaxy
I'm sitting here with a fish in my ear
List'ning to a robot moan
Up on the bridge there's a spaced out freak
And a girl I met back home
And in this hellish nightmare world
I just can't get a cup of tea
I'm stuck, I'm told, on the Heart of Gold
Hitching round the galaxy
Hitching round the galaxy, my friends
Hitching round the galaxy
And Zaphod's prose gets right up my nose
Hitching round the galaxy
And next we veer off to Magarathea
With missiles on our tail.
Then something strange, those missiles change
To a potplant and a whale.
I don't know what that damn drive did
I'm lost without a clue
Now two lab mice want to cut me up
What's a poor Earthman to do?
Hitching round the galaxy, my friends
Hitching round the galaxy
I wish I could , find just one thing good
Hitching round the galaxy
Oh for a jar, in the public bar
Of my local pub back home
The earth I left, seems much sweeter yet
As the further off I roam
Even now I yearn for a summer breeze
Blowing off the Irish sea
I want to cry as my days go by
Hitching round the galaxy
Hitching round the galaxy, my friends
Hitching round the galaxy
I'm just a bum , sticking out my thumb
Hitching round the galaxy
I'll
Never Trust A Mage Again
A kind of generic epic fantasy filk here, to the tune of I'll Never
Fall In Love Again, as performed by Bobbie Gentry.
SCENE:
At the bar sits a grizzled and much scarred veteran. When he sees a
distinguished, grey-cloaked figure with white flowing beard enter the
tavern, he slides under the table, hiding until the mystic has gone,
with a group of companions in tow. Interested by his behaviour, you
ask him "Do you have a problem with wizards, warrior?" He looks you
in the eye, and begins to sing....
What do you get when a wizard calls?
You get enough shit to drive you barmy
There's monsters and wraiths and goblin armies
I'll never trust a mage again.
I'll never trust a mage again.
What do you get when he looks your way?
You just get a quest you're good and stuck with
Fighting some foe no man should fuck with
I'll never trust a mage again
I'll never trust a mage again.
Don't talk to me 'bout fellowship
There's always one traitor who'll lose his grip
Out of those woods, he'll sneak up behind you
That's why I'm here to remind you
Run for the hills when a wizard calls
He'll only expect you to be heroic
Facing your fear with courage stoic
I'll never trust a mage again
I'll never trust a mage again.
Don't tell me about dark and light
Those white-clad bastards always swear they're right
With prophecy, they'll cheat and blind you
That's why I'm here to remind you
Say you're not in when a wizard calls
Unless you've a yen for death and danger
And if you do - well, goodbye stranger,
I'LL never trust a mage again
No, I'll never trust a mage again.
<exits, muttering "Well, don't say I didn't warn you...">
KUDOS CAN WAIT
Tune: Heaven Can Wait by Meat Loaf
Kudos can wait
Till you find the scansion and the meter fits
And all the rhymes come out unforced
Like you meant them that way
And I fear
I fear
Kudos can wait
Till it's easier for us to sing your stuff
And the melody lets our voices fly
Without strain
To the ear
Give it all of your thought
And make the words flow along like a stream
Keep refining your lyrics until
You can turn a nightmare into the fabric of dreams
You've got the taste for filking now
You think that it's a simple game to play
You've got the taste for filking now
You think that you can do it every day
It's time to think again
Kudos can wait
Until you take the time, to make it pure and fine
Keep going back
Keep going back
Till the lyrics shine
And I know this may seem unkind
But I think that it's fair
And nobody's gonna tell you this
If they don't really care
No no no
You've got the taste for filking now
It's never gonna let you get away
You've got the taste for filking now
But you have to learn some filkcraft you know
You know there isn't any easy way
To get it right
Kudos can wait
Until you take the time, to make it pure and fine
Keep going back
Keep going back
Till the lyrics shine
Kudos can wait
Kudos can wait
Keep going back
Keep going back
Till the lyrics shine
Till the lyrics shine
Handcuffs
Are A Girl's Best Friend
"Diamonds are a girl's best friend" as performed by
Marilyn Monroe
Some men are glad to swoon for love
They delight in falling faint
But I prefer a man who wakes
And takes
Discreet restraint
A silk scarf or two may be sophisticated,
But handcuffs are a girls best friend
A rope may be grand, but it's somewhat outdated,
And a modern lass, would think it crass, and always pass
Chains are neat, and shackles sweet
But they both lose their charms in the end
But standard or fur-lined
Your cuffs are for all time
Yes handcuffs are a girls best friend
LAPD...or the Met...
Black frost...
Pearl 'bossed...
Talk to me, dear Houdini, tell me all about it!
There may come a time when a chick needs some leather
But handcuffs are a girl's best friend
There may come a time when boots and whips go together
They may look quite tough
But without your cuffs
They're only stuff
He's your guy when heels are high
But beware when they start to descend
You know when you find him
You'll need something to bind him
Yes handcuffs are a girls best friend
I've heard of affairs where no pain is exerted
But handcuffs are a girl's best friend
And I think affairs that are
Somewhat perverted
Are better bets
And my little pets aren't leaving yet
Time rolls on, and youth is gone
And even leather will crack when you bend
But sunshine or rain dear,
You'll be happy in chains dear
Handcuffs, handcuffs...
I don't mean cheap stuff
But handcuffs...
Are a girl's best...best friend
I Wanna Put
Chains on You
Tune "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" as
performed by
Marilyn Monroe
I wanna put chains on you, just you and nobody else but you
I wanna put chains on you, alone -- boo-boopy-doo
I'll inflict some pains on you, just you and nobody else but you
I'll inflict some pains on you, alone
I'll smile and set fire
To your personal pyre
I'll heat your desire
And make you my own, be-doo-be-doo-*boop*-be-doo
I wanna put chains on you, just you and nobody else but you
I wanna put chains on you, alone -- boo-boopy-doo
Send in the Subs
Tune: Send in the Clowns
Isn't it rich, ain't it surreal?
The way that a swift blow or two
Will bring men to heel,
Send in the subs
Don't you love pain? Don't you love fear?
When a man grovels before you
It's gorgeous, my dear
Where are the subs?
Send in the subs.
Just when I'd stopped
Strutting around
Thinking I might keep a man
Without tying him down
Along comes a puppy-dog type
With a strong need to beg
My whip's in my hand
And boots on my legs
Isn't it strange, isn't it queer?
The effect on the masculine psyche
Of tight leather gear
Where are the subs?
Send in the subs
Don't bother, they're here
Master
You wait, little girl, with a patent wish
Just hoping to turn a beast on
Your pain little girl is a tasty dish
That men will want to feast on
Sub-rette
To feast on
Master
You are sixteen going on seventeen
Girlie, it's time to sink
Into a world of darkness and bondage
Angel, you're on the brink
You are sixteen going on seventeen
Fellows will fall in line
Ready to beat you, hurt and mistreat you
But dearling, that role's all mine
Totally unprepared are you to face a world of pain
Timid and shy and scared are you
But trembling in eager shame
You'll need someone to dominate you
Telling you what to do,
I have chains here to subjugate you
I'll take care of you!
Sub-rette
I am sixteen going seventeen
I know that I'm naive
Masters I meet all tell me I'm sweet
Submissively I believe
I am sixteen going seventeen
Innocent as a rose
Shackles and leathers, bullwhips and feathers
What do I know of those?
Totally unprepared am I to face a world of pain
Timid and shy and scared am I
But eager, and all aflame
I need someone to dominate me
Order me, keep me true
You will flay me, bind me, berate me
I'll depend on you!